One family’s inspiring journey through trauma, addiction and child welfare
On January 5, 2017, Kelsey Daffron and David Ludeman were arrested in Columbia, MO for endangering the lives of their 2-year-old and 8-month-old children. The story was quickly sensationalized and spread in town for the conditions in which Kelsey and David’s infant and toddler lived. The kids were immediately put in the custody of their grandparents, James and Christy Ludeman. Kelsey has spent the last 8 years working toward regaining custody of her children.
On September 12, 2024, Kelsey won back sole custody of her daughters, now 10 and 8.
This is her story.
It was 1:15 p.m. on a bitter day in January 2017.
On January 5, 2017, police responded to a call from Children’s Division about an anonymous tip from the Child Abuse & Neglect Hotline. Upon arriving at the home, 505 W Timothy Court in Columbia, police arrested 21-year-olds Kelsey Daffron and, later, David Ludeman, who had fled the scene, “on suspicion of two counts each of first-degree child endangerment,” says the Columbia Daily Tribune.
Local reporting described the unlivable conditions — The floor was littered with trash and dirty diapers. The refrigerator was unplugged and filled with spoiled food. Living inside were two young girls, 2 years old and 8 months old.
The young children were immediately put into the care of their grandparents, James and Christy Ludeman, as the closest kin.
“I remember the social worker at the time told me it could be about 18 months for [Kelsey and David] to get the girls back,” Christy said.
The girls, Natalie and Taylor, ended up spending eight years, the vast majority of their lives, in the care of their grandparents.
5 years prior to their arrest...
Christy Ludeman has a knack for remembering numbers – dates, receipt totals. She keeps record in her phone book of loved ones’ phone numbers, addresses and favorite foods for birthdays and holidays.
Unsurprisingly, she remembers the day her son, David, met Kelsey. “They met on December 31st when they were 16,” Christy said. “And then [she] came over on the Fourth of July, and the rest was history.”
In many ways, David’s life represented everything that Kelsey’s didn’t. He had a loving family, lots of friends, and, perhaps most importantly, stable parents who were not struggling with addiction.
Listen to Kelsey, James and Christy describe Kelsey’s childhood.
Listener discretion is advised.
David had been a popular kid. He was kind, bright, and funny. He was quiet if he didn’t know you well, but he had lots of friends and opened up to people he knew and trusted.
Having gone to school with David, I remember him standing out among the other kids by the time we reached Oakland Junior High (now Oakland Middle School) for his considerable height, blond hair and charm. Being more than 6 feet tall by the time he was 14, paired with natural athleticism, made him a strong athlete in many sports, but he excelled in Track and Field. David was a celebrity in our school.
He was considered by students and educators alike to have a very bright future ahead of him. In 2010, David broke five Oakland Junior High School records in the 100-meter dash, 200-meter, High Jump, Long Jump and Triple Jump. The same year, he also performed the Triple Jump and High Jump at the AAU Junior Olympics, Christy said.
“The coaches at the sand pit would stop and say, ‘Watch this kid. He is phenomenal,” Christy said in a 2010 email. “The coaches [would] say he is scholarship material, and he could participate in a Decathlon.”
Despite his talent, David’s addiction followed a familiar trajectory – it happened slowly, then all at once.
According to his family, David was smoking weed regularly by junior high; however, it did not appear to hinder his academic or athletic performance. It wasn’t until high school that David dropped out of the spotlight and started dabbling in more potent, often synthetic drugs like K2, a synthetic form of marijuana. By the time David and Kelsey’s first daughter, Natalie, was born in 2014, he was likely using meth.
“He would lie about what he was doing or where he was going,” Kelsey said. “I remember one night, I asked him, like, ‘Why won’t you come to bed?’ Another time, I found a meth pipe next to him while he was sleeping, and when I asked him about it, he said, ‘Oh, well, you planted that there.'”
David’s addiction and behavior were beginning to feel increasingly familiar to Kelsey because of her mother’s addiction history. She resented it, but at least it was familiar. She thought she could manage.
“I loved him; I cared about him. I expected to stay with David my entire life,” Kelsey said.
David was 19, going on 20, and lived in his deceased grandparents’ home at 505 W Timothy Court, just around the corner from his parents, James and Christy. Here, he could more easily use drugs without steady employment. Kelsey and her two young daughters traveled between her family in Hermann, Missouri and Columbia to be with David. She worked to support herself and her girls while also paying the past-due bills at Timothy Court to avoid utilities and water being shut off.
Kelsey and the girls had been staying at the crumbling house on Timothy Court with David for a few weeks when the anonymous caller made the Child Abuse and Neglect Hotline report. When police and protective services arrived, James and Christy immediately took custody of the girls.
“They said we had to get them out of foster care because someone could come in and say they wanted a little blonde-haired, blue-eyed girl, and there was nothing we could do about it,” Christy said.
James chimed in next: “And also, they said ‘there’s no guarantee we could even keep them together.'”
Within a day of her arrest, Kelsey’s mother bailed her out of jail and took her back to Hermann, Missouri (away from her daughters), where Kelsey’s mother, grandmother and the rest of her family are from.
While in Hermann, Kelsey immediately began working toward getting her daughters back from state custody. She got a job in Hermann, had stable living conditions, and secure daycare. She set up bedrooms for her daughters and completed all of the steps to get them back but one: Counseling.
Because she did not complete counseling, Kelsey was told she needed to waive her parental rights to James and Christy. This is when Kelsey began using drugs to numb the loss. “They told me I wasn’t trying,” Kelsey said. “And, I thought, if I’m not trying then [explitive] it.”
She watched two of the most influential people in her life turn to drugs – her mother and then David. When she lost her daughters, Kelsey did, too.
Listen to Kelsey, James, and Christy describe Kelsey almost getting the girls back in 2017.
For more than two years, Kelsey was lost.
While David continued to use drugs and move between prison or jail, and transience, Kelsey entered an abusive relationship. Her new boyfriend introduced her to Adderall and began to coerce her with the promise of drugs for money or other favors. When he locked her in a bathroom and sexually assaulted her, she fled.
For the next 2 and a half years, Kelsey alternated between transience and sleeping at her place of employment. She had no car, no apartment, and no one to help her. Any help she needed came at a cost.
Kelsey described hallucinations of her daughters while she was using drugs. She called them her “shadow people.” She would see them at the edge of her vision during these deliriums. She knew she needed to quit using and get her girls back.
Listen to Kelsey describe the 2.5 years after losing her daughters.
Listener discretion is advised.
Finally, after two and a half years, Kelsey made it home.
When Kelsey had no one left to turn to, she finally called James and Christy and asked them to get her. She was in St. Louis and overwhelmed by all she would need to accomplish before she could get her daughters back.
“Just come home,” Christy said. “Come home, and we’ll figure out the rest later. The first step is to come home.”
On August 8, 2019, they brought Kelsey home, where she lived for four years. James and Christy retained guardianship of the girls while Kelsey learned how to care for them and herself.
“We were letting her go at her own pace,” James said. “We weren’t pushing her.”
During her time with James and Christy, Kelsey stayed employed, bought and paid off a car with James’ and Christy’s help, and slowly learned the life skills needed to raise her daughters, from learning how to do laundry and cook to filing her taxes to throwing birthday parties for her daughters. Most importantly, she stayed clean and learned from James and Christy that she had a family she could trust.
Listen to Kelsey and her family describe her gradual transformation.
Once ready, Kelsey got an apartment and slowly began having the girls in her care more frequently. She set up their bedrooms, picked them up from school or waited for them at the bus stop.
Although an important step toward Kelsey’s goal of sole custody, her moving out was challenging on the entire family.
Listen to Kelsey and her family describe the hardship of Kelsey moving out.
Eventually, the girls began spending the night and slowly spent more and more time at their mom’s house instead of their grandparents.
Having their mom back was a dream for Natalie (10) and Taylor (8), who had not lived in their mom’s custody since they were 2 years old and 8 months old. All they’ve ever wanted is to be with their mother.
Now, as of September 12, 2024, their mom is home for good.
Natalie
Natalie was born to Kelsey and David in 2014.
Much like her father from his past life, Natalie is kind, bright, athletic and full of energy. She is a goof-ball who loves telling her family about her day, her friends and her interests. Natalie enjoys soliciting people for their cell phones so that her and Taylor can take selfies together on Snapchat.
Taylor
Taylor was born to Kelsey and David in 2016.
Taylor is the yin to her sister’s yang: She is quiet, thoughtful and extremely inquisitive. She may not say much, but there is so much going on beneath the surface. She’ll often whisper something for her sister to then translate to the rest of the family or group. Taylor loves art and reading, and she is exceptionally good at math.
As of the publishing of this story, David remains in and out of jail and prison for drug-related offenses and altercations. Although he is typically able to stay clean while behind bars, he is unable to remain sober upon release.
His family remains hopeful that he will one day win his battle against his addiction.
Everyone featured has consented to sharing their name, face, and story in this publication.
